Be Less Judgemental

We all have the temptation to judge any experience as either good or bad because we all like feeling happiness and none of us like feeling sadness. Often your judgements are more based upon past experiences and less on what you are actually experiencing in this moment. Judging holds us back and if we can judge less we can experience a richer, more meaningful and fulfilled life based around your true self.

It is possible to reduce and let go of judgements regardless of how repetitive or ingrained they are by using your new mindfulness skills. Your judgements are simply just thoughts in your mind and the choice is yours to how much value and credibility you give these thoughts.

When you pay attention to your thoughts, emotions, feelings and actions you can identify the unhelpful thoughts and question whether they are true and valid for what is actually happening in the present.

THINKING IS DIFFICULT, THAT’S
WHY MOST PEOPLE JUDGE.
CARL JUNG

It’s not just about how we judge others, how we judge ourselves is far more important. Research has shown that our minds are tell ourselves stories continuously. These stories are about who we are, where we are going, what our relationship is to whoever we are with, etc. Albeit not necessarily true these stories are fine while they are all positive but what about when they become negative? What if we’re telling our self we are not good enough, we don’t deserve something that makes us happy or successful.

Most of us have our own self doubts, but when they start to accumulate they start affecting our self esteem and sense of worth. It’s very easy to incorrectly judge a situation and then make further judgements on the first incorrect assumption and so on. Before you know it you have spiraled miles away from the reality of the present basing incorrect assumption upon incorrect assumption. If you find you are doubting yourself, or having some negative thoughts just simply start to pay attention.

Paying attention to these thoughts will stop the internal storytelling automatically and then ask yourself which of the thoughts I’ve just had do I know to be actually true. Think like you are giving evidence in a court and under oath, you wouldn’t speculate and only say what you are sure is true. Unless you can say 100% that what you have been thinking is true you will discard it automatically.

Once you have done this, smile to yourself as you have just taken back control of your own thoughts, stopped a potential self judgemental negative thought pattern spiralling out of control and replaced it with a positive judgement of yourself because you are now in control of your thoughts and are definitely here in this moment.

Obviously you can apply the same logic to thoughts and judgements you are having about other people too as they all take place inside your mind.

John Burley

John Burley lives in Hertfordshire in the United Kingdom and is the author of Mindfulness for the Mindless due for publication on 2nd April 2018. He is also the director of a software development company producing software solutions to mainly the gaming industry. He blogs about mindfulness at www.amindfulway.blog which has a growing following both on the blog itself, the accompanying Android app and on social media too.

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