Pause! The most important thing to remember by being mindful that whenever you detect that you are going to react, pause. The old saying of “counting to ten” is true because it gives you some thinking time. This thinking time should be used to further use your mindfulness skills to become fully aware of exactly what is going on in the present moment, think and assess what your next move (response) should be.
The pause should last for as long as you feel the need to react. Usually this is only for a few seconds but if it takes a bit longer then just wait. Remember even though you may believe you are completely in the right, your reaction could give away any advantage or high ground you currently have. Pausing and then responding with intelligence, compassion and a calmness will better serve the outcome you desire.
As your mindfulness skills improve you will find it easier to pause in these situations. If you do not get it right don’t worry. If you are still reacting and you realise that you forgot to pause, pause at that point, this will at least stop any further reaction and any more damage being done to a relationship or partnership. If you forgot to pause and the reaction has passed, again don’t worry, just resolve yourself to learn from this situation. Understand what happened to trigger the reaction and ensure you are paying attention when similar circumstances arise in the future so you can pause more effectively.